The End....

After 14 years together it seems as if my relationship with my wife is over. This is something that I couldn't have ever imagined. She is the only woman I have ever loved. She is the only woman I have every dated. Unfortunately, we seem to have grown apart. She evolved and transformed herself and I didn't. We are such drastically different people now from when we met. I probably should have tried to keep up with her transformation. But I didn't. I let her pass me by. We fight on a regular basis. Each time we fight seems to be more explosive and meaner than the time before. This relationship isn't healthy for either of us at this point. It is an incredibly sad and tragic end. All I ever wanted was to have a woman I love and adored to grow old with. Now I am left alone. I have to focus on how to help my son navigate what is about to happen. I don't even know how to begin to explain what is happening to him. How do two people who swore to love each other til death do us part get to this point. I haven't felt this low since 2009 when I lost my dad. I had proposed to my wife before he passed because I wanted him to know the woman I was going to marry and now it looks like that was all for naught. How can things go so horribly wrong? At a time that I should be really happy, just finished up my Masters and having good professional success, I am just miserable. I probably only have myself to blame. I have always been a very hesitant, conservative person whereas my wife was always more adventurous and outgoing. The differences have only gotten more pronounced since my wife got cancer for the 2nd time. How can I blame her for wanting to live life to the fullest? I can't. Unfortunately, that has never been something that I have been good at. I have always wanted to be cautious and safe. I always overthink and over analyze things. It is just who I am. I don't know how to relax and have fun in life. It has never been something I knew how to do. Maybe my wife deserves a man who knows how to live life to the fullest with her. Maybe I have been holding her back. I feel like a failure. I have failed as a husband and as a father. My family is breaking right in front of me and I don't know what to do to fix it.