Realization,,,,

I have been kinda down the last few days. After doing some thinking I figured out why. When I talked to my parents on Saturday night, I asked my mother how my father was doing. She told me that he had had a rough night the nigh before and that the tumors on his back were now big enough to be visible. I came to the realization that the reason I have been able to move on with some sort of normalcy over the last few weeks and months is by trying not to think about my fathers illness and how it is affecting him. It becomes harder each day to live in that world of denial. It became especially hard after talking to my mother. I worry about her, i worry about my father, I worry about a lot of things that I have no control over which is completely unlike me. Its just hard not to when faced with the reality that my fathers disease isn't going away it is just getting worse. I talked to him today and he sounded good, he seems to be enjoying his time in Tennessee. I thank God for everyday he gets to spend in Tennessee because I know it is his dream. It is hard realizing the fact that life isn't fair and decisions we make not knowing what the consequences may be long down the line shape and impact the lives of all of those around us. All I can do is be strong for my family. And always remembering to live life without regret. to take chances and see where they lead. I am not really sure what is going to happen in the next year or so, but what I do know is that I need to learn to take chances, get out of my comfort zone. I need to learn and grow. I need to challenge myself.